Life's A Beach

Life is too short to give and it's better at the beach.

@jbfit28 (Instagram photo taken at South Padre Island in this beautiful summer of 2021.)

Ok, we all know life ain't all that easy. We are literally still in a pandemic! Crazy right? Well, as if that wasn't enough we still have to deal with bs life throws at us, our finances, with problems in relations and well, mother nature can be pretty bipolar lately. With all that said, we can definitely feel drained and weighed down during or after any of these circumstances.

While it's true that adversity can strengthen us and define us, much of our emotions and thoughts go hand in hand with our perception of things. Do we let each trial get to us to a degree that it causes anxiety, depression or lose our motivation? Do we throw the towel simply because things did not go our way? How far can your endurance and motivation go, before it wears off? Tough right? Well, although it may not be easy at first, you can, like anything else, train this endurance so that you can sail the seas of life with skill and defiance.

No, there is no secret formula and I am not trying to sell anything, but share a way of thought that can help you keep your head up and keep trying. Yes, we'll get to the beach part, bear with me a sec.

Ok, so you're not happy, perhaps, maybe things are tense with someone or things aren't working out your way. Whatever the reason of why you've made it this far reading, think about why you feel that way. Is it really something that can be overlooked, or does it attack your fundamental values? Think about it, sometimes we feel like we overreact to things. Other times, we get upset and don't recall why we did in the first place, but the truth is that these emotions if not confronted can cause you to not be living to the full as you were born to. Bottled emotions and negative thoughts prevent you from reaching your full potential!

Now I want you to think about your first injury, can you remember? I bet you were too young to recall being dropped by your uncle (jk). However, you do remember at some point getting hurt, why is it that you don't remember it today? It's not completely because it was some time ago, yes that does play a part but science explains that the brain helps face trauma or pain in a way of blocking your sensors so as to not feel it. That is why when you think of an injury, unless it left damage or causes bodily pain from time to time. You can remember the injury but not the pain. Likewise, when you think of your ex, or a potential mate, you remember all the good things but never the bad! You fall into the trap of going back to something you don't recall why you left in the first place, unless of course that trauma shaped you enough to not go back to it, which is a topic we'll discuss later. So makes sense, we are wired to move one and live, without thinking of the bad things of the past. So if this is true, you ask, why am I hurting? Why am I not over this? Why do I lack motivation?

That my friend, is where perception kicks in. The problem is not that today you were hurt, that happened yesterday or the day before. Unless it's physical pain in form of a recent injury, it is your brain reliving past events. You are practically training your heart to continuously think of how it makes you feel and not allowing your brain to take control and help you heal. The sad part is that the more time you take practicing this, the harder it is to get out of those emotions and the deeper you mold your personality to them. Your motivation is off, anger could move you to do the unthinkable and the list goes on. These develop trust issues, jealousy, all sort of bad traits that I cannot even fit in this blog. While there is a healthy timeframe of mourning or facing your emotions, you cannot move on without proper closure. Now, before we go off topic, this is actually where the beach kicks in (or any place where you can enjoy life in this world). Because as you progressively embrace your emotions, you also need to distract yourself, so that when you go back into thinking of whatever you're going through, you see it more clearly, less cloudy and with optimism. It's called balance. If you surround yourself with melancholy environments, with sad music and leave out everyone in your life, you are literally making the situation worse. You are making the scene worst than when you got hurt and all that time you have to think about what happened, will dig you deeper into a whole that is hard to get out.

Now I mentioned proper closure. That means to face whatever situation knowing that no matter what, you are trying to make life better and no matter how low this new starting point is (cause it's not a setback) it is with a better, more assured and more defined version of you. You might have not had the outcome you wanted but hey, you are breathing, you're still here and you have a new opportunity to keep trying. Hopefully you learned something from this experience and move on. The faster you can tackle this part, the easier it'll be for you to raise your own motivation again and gain the confidence it takes to excel.

So, yeah, life's a b*tch, mostly unfair and we have to change our game plan frequently. Things don't come out as planned, we know this, so why waste so much energy in feeling downhearted or upset? If it already got to you, fine face it and move on. Don’t let the emotions get deeper, but if you are fine and growing, be prepared. In what sense? In the way that you already know, you already expect bad things to come your way, why let em get to you? I'm not telling you to not care, just that if you allow everything to affect you and decide to give a f*ck for everything. Then, you will not be capable of dodging all of life's bullets. So surround yourself with positive people, change your environment (cough cough, the beach) and be prepared to face situations that might not land in your favor. So go out! Enjoy life, we are only here for a short time and it would be a waste of time to spend time hurting or focusing on things that won't light your heart on fire. Nothing lasts forever and we came to this world alone, so will our journey end at our own time. So don't sweat it, take things slow, you don't owe anyone anything (unless it's a creditor), and there is no wrong or right way to live your life, remember that you were the outcome of billions of possibilities. You are unique in this world, you don't have to fit in and a successful life is not measured by how others view you but by personal happiness.

Smile! It's not as bad as it seems, things will be better, it'll just take a bit, but no rush. Take your time. So, I'm headed to the beach, you down?